A PIPE TO SMOKE ALL NIGHT

Amid Skepticism, Debt Panel Pressed to Make Deal – NYTimes

Lock up your daughters, put the women and children to bed. An eternal precept suitable for contemporary UK of all places. As time inexorably persists its immutable existence, same-sex marriage becomes a reality in the Empire state, the IMF leader a soon to be acquitted pervert, and the United States stands at the precipice of closing another empirical chapter, one cannot help but hang their head with nostalgia for the simpler of times of daily strafe bombings in middle eastern countries we did not even feel the need to point out on a map. Instead, Starbuck’s coffee shops across the English nation have been closing early, “MPs have been forced to return early from their summer holidays”, and I just do not recognize western society anymore.

Having finally put their bickering aside long enough to patch up something of a budget plan, both parties can now sit back and look into the crystal ball that is the UK to see what may await them. Ill-advised budget cuts, unfairly administered in already struggling neighborhoods, the result of partisan politics,  have given way to looting and arson. Looking for a purer motive than the need for free ‘trainers’ and brand new HDTVs is the productive thought process, but a long boring, rainy (read: London) summer, far from the caipirinhas and sun burns of the south, can bear the bulk of the finger pointing. This may however translate a more profound issue, swept under much the same rug under which the French one already hides. The Americans seclude it in the far reaches of Jamaica, Queens and Compton, California, but our beloved welfare state forces the unfortunate to serve the Fortunate sloppy joes at the cafeteria, leaving little free time for ransacking and generally causing ‘kerfuffles’ and ‘ballyhoos’. Although such actions will achieve no political or social gain, it should serve as the necessary cautionary tale for stateside Republicans, since the simple good of the country is not enough to warrant de-prioritizing their lobbyist checks in favor of tax hikes for the Forbes cover boys.

A bigger man than I would evaluate the demotion of the United States from a AAA student to a mere AA+ one, the buckling at the knees of the euro zone, and the return to 19th century tactics of rushing into public unrest straddling horses as a mere Keynesian dip, routine in nature. However, money-hungry partisan politicians aren’t exactly the type to heed any kind of warnings, much less look beyond their fat wallets, which is why I have decided to cry pandemonium and relocate underground, stack up on MREs, Jack Daniel’s and back issues of Hustler magazine (the apocalyptic world gets very lonely). Those equally fearful among you who wish to join me may do so. A word of warning though. Those wishing to rub elbows with the right people (me) will be in charge of our financial system, while those unwilling or unlucky will be relegated to maintenance and masseur duty.

Note-worthy: ““I approach this task like all tasks in Washington, with high hopes and tempered expectations, ” said Representative Jeb Hensarling, a Texas Republican and co-chairman of the Joint Select Committee on Deficit Reduction, whose six Senate members and six House members are divided evenly by party.”

YOU BROKE MY HEART

Behind the Hunt for Bin Laden – NYTimes

As I sit here munching on my freedom cereal, so blissfully sweet in this post-bin Laden world, I ponder the appropriate finishing touches for the e-vites to my upcoming “We Got bin Laden” party, which promises to be an evening of star-spangled celebration and all-American festivities, complete with ‘Osama’ piñatas and decorative patriotic banners endorsing over-eager slogans of all sorts like “Osama Bin Gotten’, or ‘Night Night Osama’ and ‘America…Fuck Yeah!’. Party bags will include ‘Obama Got Osama’ t-shirts for all attendees and Seal Team Six costumes which everyone will be encouraged/forced to wear for the re-enactment of the daring nighttime raid that killed the most evil man in the world, giving us all a real-American erection in the process and solidifying our return as the most bad-ass nation in the universe. Those with preferences as to whom they wish to portray should indicate them on the RSVP form. We still need a bin Laden…

Osama bin Laden’s demise has been the press’ fixation for a little more than a week now, casting away such trivial stories as killer hurricanes and remorseless floods to the media backlogs, opting instead to gawk at any tidbit of gossip they could get their tweets on. The result is a more knowledgeable people, more educated on the mechanics of a madman’s mind and the inner workings of his evil terrorist organization. Information being the most influential of currencies, Americans are now wealthier than they were knowing that ‘Mr. al-Qaeda’ had trouble “getting it up”, groomed his beard, regularly drank Coke AND Pepsi (undefeated in the Pepsi Challenge), and watched himself on TV whilst stroking his grey beard.

It does not take long for opinionated extremes to emerge after the most wanted fugitive perhaps in human history is taken out by allegedly the most powerful man in the world (≠ Hu Jintao). Redemption turns to narrow-minded patriotism for some. Bitterness over Operation Iraqi Freedom and European Guantanamos (or just plain G-Bay) turns to dogged scrutiny for accountability for others. The termination of bin Laden has not been 10 years in the making, but at least 15. Bill Clinton and his administration, along with George Tenet’s CIA, pondered countless hours and issued innumerable directives with the sole objective of killing or capturing bin Laden, knowing full well that the latter was doubtful. At the time, Osama did not constitute the legitimate target he would following the 2001 terrorist attacks, and efforts to subdue the leader of the ‘Qaeda’ were often bogged down by legal issues and CIA reticence to be labeled murderers. 2,977 American casualties later, the label would turn to ‘hero’.

There is a critical component to keeping our standards of legal proceedings and ethics above those we condemn for atrocities. Enemies whose belligerent tactics depend on slipping through the cracks of “legitimate warfare” pose a significant challenge to executives who strive to protect their people while still upholding the constitution. In essence, perhaps less hesitation and more decisive action from the Clinton administration would have saved lives that fateful September morning. Perhaps it would have simply postponed the inevitable. In the wake of an undeniable act of retribution, it is important to grasp the intricacies of the most costly manhunt ever. First and foremost, although the former leader of al-Qaeda and Luca Brasi are now bedfellows, lower Manhattan winds still flow freely between West street and Vesey street where they were once thwarted by huge cement golems. Empty chairs still surround dinner tables across the nation. The United States still represent an ideological abomination to scores of seasoned mujahideen and new recruits alike. A bullet to the eye, whether it has bin Laden’s or Moe Greene’s name on it, will not convert anyone. Alternatively, as long-time regal lunatic King Lear would ramble, “nothing will come of nothing”. The scandalized reactions of a Noam Chomsky on the other hand seem relevant, and yet unbalanced. To condemn it as an act of murder without so much as acknowledging the complexities of the issue or the legitimacy to the sense of avengement felt by some (New Yorkers?) seems more like high-browed rhetoric than constructive analysis. Bin Laden has conceivably never killed an American himself, let alone half a Russian. Then again, Mr. Corleone would surely not have been the one to get his hands dirty had his offers been refused. In the end, the boldness of such an “assassinapture” can be appreciated, but a death is hardly cause for celebration. The end of Osama bin Laden should neither be lauded nor flat-out condemned. Rather, one can only hope this to be the final casualty of September 11th.

Note-worthy: ” “They’ve reached the target,” he said. Minutes passed. “We have a visual on Geronimo,” he said. A few minutes later: “Geronimo EKIA.” Enemy Killed In Action. There was silence in the Situation Room. Finally, the president spoke up. “We got him.” “

[UPDATE – 05/13/2011] Suicide attacks in Pakistan kill 80 – Wishful thinking!

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY?

The Education of President Obama – NYTimes

It was a chilly autumn night and all smiles shined bright, for tonight black and white exercised their voting right to choose who would fight America’s blight. For who of all people was to assure the sequel but one of their equals, granted a suit like the former but not quite so evil. Not one could surmise or believe their eyes, between sobs and cries some looked to the skies. As everyone beamed at their TV screens, what Dr. King had foreseen was no longer a dream. And as that powerful black man waved to his fans they stood hand in hand clamoring ‘yes we can’.

One could still hear them chanting, from Middle-earth to Who-ville, the three simplest of words that would prove the most popular of slogans since “Beanz Meanz Heinz“. ‘Hope’ was no longer but a tag line or an abstract notion bearing a clichéd if not comical undertone but a feasible reality that one could witness for themselves in neighborhood bars, corner shops, restaurants, subway stops, as the fruits of an admittedly passive labor for most were finally tangible. Around the world, the mention of the United States solicited a friendly “Obama” affiliated with a thumbs-up, finally replacing the word “Bush” juxtaposed with a thumbs-down or even the occasional proverbial finger. The notion of high anticipation for a presidential election being paradoxical had proven to be only half-true, but by the time paper ballots had already been removed from their electoral urns, Mr. Obama had unfortunately already done so much for the nation that it would prove difficult for him to accomplish more during his actual tenure.

Something happened between “my fellow citizens: I stand here today humbled by the task before us” and the upcoming midterm elections. Apparently, it’s only fun to cheer for ‘Baracky‘ when he’s fighting the odds. There is no going back to the mean streets of Philly/Kenya once you’re champion. Perhaps it was the novelty of a black president which faded, but as his supporters, suddenly bored with his vibrant eloquence, saw him as just another politician in a suit who had not fulfilled his promises even though most at the outset agreed that the dire economic wounds ailing the country could not be mended so quickly, his critics, mostly over-eager Republican pundits, seized their chance to paint him as the illegitimate, black supremacist president hell-bent on spreading his brand of Marxism to a country he secretly hated, all the while conducting Islamist jihad. It is however essential to disassociate radicals, who hopefully represent a minority, from the conservative opposition as a whole. Whatever the agenda though, Republicans have suckered even a politician highly disillusioned with Washington stratagems into playing a game of “wabbit season, duck season” with them.

The first half of Obama’s term is of a discouraging nature as it demonstrates that, as willing as one may be to forgo the machinations of Washington which, by all accounts, end up hindering positive agenda rather than animating constructive debate, any member of the political elite will have to corrupt their own sense of purpose, perhaps tweak it, if they hope to remain relevant in the realm of the politically attainable. The Obama administration has been active, and results are manifest (a health care reform, cutting in half the number of wars the country is invested in, and a stimulus bill that showed ambition, if not actual results, are nothing to scoff at), and yet, whether by impatience or defiance, the horizon signals a loss of Democrat control in Congress, inexplicably making it that much harder for Obama to fulfill his agenda, one that keeps growing in scope and attracting critics’ wrath in its failures concurrently. This is also Obama’s doing though. His deadline for an Israeli-Palestinian agreement will only fan the flames when Israelis are still using their territorial counterparts as cannon fodder a year from now. As well-intentioned as it may be, he is more often than not these days the victim of his own progressive ideology.

The midterm elections will indeed change the tone in Washington, whatever the results may be, whatever roles grizzly bears and auto-eroticism opponents may play. Supporters who remained celebrating until dawn back in November of 2008 should stick around. Rocky III-VI had their high points.

Note-worthy: “Some White House aides who were ready to carve a new spot on Mount Rushmore for their boss two years ago privately concede now that he cannot be another Abraham Lincoln after all. In this environment, they have increasingly concluded, it may be that every modern president is going to be, at best, average.”