YOU BROKE MY HEART

Behind the Hunt for Bin Laden – NYTimes

As I sit here munching on my freedom cereal, so blissfully sweet in this post-bin Laden world, I ponder the appropriate finishing touches for the e-vites to my upcoming “We Got bin Laden” party, which promises to be an evening of star-spangled celebration and all-American festivities, complete with ‘Osama’ piñatas and decorative patriotic banners endorsing over-eager slogans of all sorts like “Osama Bin Gotten’, or ‘Night Night Osama’ and ‘America…Fuck Yeah!’. Party bags will include ‘Obama Got Osama’ t-shirts for all attendees and Seal Team Six costumes which everyone will be encouraged/forced to wear for the re-enactment of the daring nighttime raid that killed the most evil man in the world, giving us all a real-American erection in the process and solidifying our return as the most bad-ass nation in the universe. Those with preferences as to whom they wish to portray should indicate them on the RSVP form. We still need a bin Laden…

Osama bin Laden’s demise has been the press’ fixation for a little more than a week now, casting away such trivial stories as killer hurricanes and remorseless floods to the media backlogs, opting instead to gawk at any tidbit of gossip they could get their tweets on. The result is a more knowledgeable people, more educated on the mechanics of a madman’s mind and the inner workings of his evil terrorist organization. Information being the most influential of currencies, Americans are now wealthier than they were knowing that ‘Mr. al-Qaeda’ had trouble “getting it up”, groomed his beard, regularly drank Coke AND Pepsi (undefeated in the Pepsi Challenge), and watched himself on TV whilst stroking his grey beard.

It does not take long for opinionated extremes to emerge after the most wanted fugitive perhaps in human history is taken out by allegedly the most powerful man in the world (≠ Hu Jintao). Redemption turns to narrow-minded patriotism for some. Bitterness over Operation Iraqi Freedom and European Guantanamos (or just plain G-Bay) turns to dogged scrutiny for accountability for others. The termination of bin Laden has not been 10 years in the making, but at least 15. Bill Clinton and his administration, along with George Tenet’s CIA, pondered countless hours and issued innumerable directives with the sole objective of killing or capturing bin Laden, knowing full well that the latter was doubtful. At the time, Osama did not constitute the legitimate target he would following the 2001 terrorist attacks, and efforts to subdue the leader of the ‘Qaeda’ were often bogged down by legal issues and CIA reticence to be labeled murderers. 2,977 American casualties later, the label would turn to ‘hero’.

There is a critical component to keeping our standards of legal proceedings and ethics above those we condemn for atrocities. Enemies whose belligerent tactics depend on slipping through the cracks of “legitimate warfare” pose a significant challenge to executives who strive to protect their people while still upholding the constitution. In essence, perhaps less hesitation and more decisive action from the Clinton administration would have saved lives that fateful September morning. Perhaps it would have simply postponed the inevitable. In the wake of an undeniable act of retribution, it is important to grasp the intricacies of the most costly manhunt ever. First and foremost, although the former leader of al-Qaeda and Luca Brasi are now bedfellows, lower Manhattan winds still flow freely between West street and Vesey street where they were once thwarted by huge cement golems. Empty chairs still surround dinner tables across the nation. The United States still represent an ideological abomination to scores of seasoned mujahideen and new recruits alike. A bullet to the eye, whether it has bin Laden’s or Moe Greene’s name on it, will not convert anyone. Alternatively, as long-time regal lunatic King Lear would ramble, “nothing will come of nothing”. The scandalized reactions of a Noam Chomsky on the other hand seem relevant, and yet unbalanced. To condemn it as an act of murder without so much as acknowledging the complexities of the issue or the legitimacy to the sense of avengement felt by some (New Yorkers?) seems more like high-browed rhetoric than constructive analysis. Bin Laden has conceivably never killed an American himself, let alone half a Russian. Then again, Mr. Corleone would surely not have been the one to get his hands dirty had his offers been refused. In the end, the boldness of such an “assassinapture” can be appreciated, but a death is hardly cause for celebration. The end of Osama bin Laden should neither be lauded nor flat-out condemned. Rather, one can only hope this to be the final casualty of September 11th.

Note-worthy: ” “They’ve reached the target,” he said. Minutes passed. “We have a visual on Geronimo,” he said. A few minutes later: “Geronimo EKIA.” Enemy Killed In Action. There was silence in the Situation Room. Finally, the president spoke up. “We got him.” “

[UPDATE – 05/13/2011] Suicide attacks in Pakistan kill 80 – Wishful thinking!

FIREBALLS AND BOLTS OF LIGHTNING

The Arab uprisings: Endgame in Tripoli – The Economist

As the autocratic dominoes/crucial western allies continue to fall, all eyes have fallen on the ‘double 6s’ that is Libya and its authoritarian ruler Qaddafi, sporting a look that would make fellow insane person Kim Jong II jealous, but who should really be swapping his military briefs for a poncho before getting skillfully disarmed by ‘The Man With No Name‘. Achieving ‘Cruella de Vil‘ degrees of derangement, Muammar “Soup Nazi” el-Qaddafi has vouched to rid his country of a population and rule only himself. The current trend in the Middle East dictates that his efforts are doomed to fail, which is why Qaddafi is resorting to unprecedented repressive means. In the absence of suitable candidates for finger-pointing other than the blatantly obvious lunatic under the pink umbrella, it seems only reasonable that the true culprits be held accountable for every innocent Libyan life lost fighting for their country’s freedom: social networking. Indeed although Qaddafi may be the only one currently able to digitally update his status (“is thinking salmon mousse for tonight’s Oscar party”?), after a sweeping victory in Egypt, it seems safe to say that Facebook and Twitter have really dropped the ball on this one. After helping coordinate protests in Cairo, spread opposition missives and, following now retired washed-up dictator Hosni Mubarak’s desperate buzzer-beating hail mary attempt of media censorship, helping journalists get the word out on daily happenings, wall posts and tweets have shown themselves powerless, unable to prevent the Libyan streets from being painted red. The death toll has reached such unattractive proportions that it has pressured even the UN Security Council to re-prioritize their respective oil interests in the region and denounce Mr. Qaddafi as something of a ‘douche bag’, further positive PR for Google. Surely ‘Androids’ and ‘YouTube’ would have the situation well under control by now.

It is rather unbecoming of the United States to consider that the country would sooner and quicker fire SCUD missiles on unsuspecting civilians in the name of spreading democracy, freedom, and finding disappearing weapons of mass destruction, than deliver a butchered people clamoring for help from a tyrant with a merciless fist. As the Middle East continues to demonstrate to the former Bush administration that they are in fact evolved enough to be masters of their own destiny, the Egyptian people accomplished what fundamentalist martyr Sayyid Qutb envisioned (albeit with a considerably larger role for Islam) and bin Laden right-hand man Ayman al-Zawahiri sought to produce for years through violent means. The future, however uncertain in years to come, is finally filled with hope, and the present inexorably beautiful following the events of the un-worthily named “18 day revolution”. However imperfect a science it is to study the butterfly effects of geopolitics, the beats of Mohammed Bouazizi‘s wings rippled throughout the world, lighting fires had that been attenuated for too long in too many arab souls. If it was its moral imperative to save the Iraqi people in the name of God, then perhaps it is now America’s subsequential duty to impose a cessation to Libyan hostilities/assist the Libyan rebels, if only because the Iraqi people, as bloody as it would assuredly have been, never got to seize their own destiny and initiate their own revolution. Memo to Baracky: silver bullet to the desert jackal’s head, “wasn’t me”  answers all ICC questions.

Note-worthy: “Mr Qaddafi, with a characteristic mix of bluntness and illogic, declared that his ideology was “theoretically” a genuine democracy, but in reality, “the strong always rule.” “I was the one who created Libya,” he is said to have declared recently, “and I will be the one to destroy it.””