Islam in Tennessee: An uncivil action – The Economist
Recently filed under “What Else Is New?” and “Whoopty-damn-doo”, religious tolerance and cultural embrace are under attack in this fair nation’s Sun Belt. The state of Tennessee has inherited the war on terror, seeking to sanction a handful of Muslims, representing the Islamic Centre of Murfreesboro, who look to avoid praying five times a day on the neighborhood sidewalks and instead move into larger spaces that could potentially accommodate their newly-hired intern, brand-new espresso machine and newly converted, red, white and blue-blood local Eustice Van-Damn, quoted as “looking to bring pitchforks to the terrorist cause”.
In celebration of its distinguished diversity, Tennessee locals, otherwise known as cowboys, associated all Muslims with the notoriously fundamentalist perceptions of ‘sharia law’ at the bi-daily local country bee-bop hoedown, reaffirming their plans to “posse up” and break out the ol’ lynching ropes. Local mayor Cletus Clifton, often spotted at the local shooting range, and his wife/cousin, who goes by the single appellation ‘Bambi’, reiterated this hillbilly thought process at the weekly “Klan meeting”, usually attended by 100% of the locals, where members voiced a longing for pre-civil war days and publicly made sweet love to their Confederate flags.
And so it was as avid wife-swappers and high school dropouts alike stormed the courthouse in earnest protest of the new mosque and community centre which they feel threaten their southern ideals, which at press time could not be located. Plaintiffs pledged their undying love for the state, before realizing they had been confusing ‘Tennessee’ with ‘Hennessy’.
When pressed on his questionable stereotyping of Southern Americans, this blogger was not available for comment.
Note-worthy: “…on the stand he admitted, “I am not an expert on sharia, but I have talked a lot about it as a threat.””
Le Razor's Edge 